jojo_popeye

In a police car from Japan

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 15:34:33 GMT

The winter has arrived to Sthlm, and I dont like it. Its freezing out here!
So what the hell was I thinking when I decided to go to Umeå next friday? Like its gonna be warmer up there?
Hahaha, dunno. But its for a good cause, though Im nervous and Im not sure how it all will end up. For god sake make it go well. *hmmm*

Im already fed up sharing apartment with H, so Im looking for new ones. I want to live by myself again. Once you've been living all alone its hard sharing again, thats all Im saying.

Havent eaten anything today, just been drinking coffee.. what hell am I doing?!
I dunno. I have to make a change, and Im gonna.. soon. Uhh.

- - -

Im listening to Bring 'em in, such a long time ago. All memories from lost times comes up and I miss it so much. The time back in -02 when Mando were nothing but a small cocky band doing these lously autumn/winter tours, drinking too much and for all I know I didnt have a clue what I was doing WITH them but I soooo much enjoyed the company. And they were all so different then. I was different as well. EVERY FUCKING THING was different. But im not bitter. or am i? Okey, well maybe a bit hehe.

I´ll even compose you a melody...

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:37:09 GMT

yeah yeah, now its time to write again, though I dont now what. Im useless at this!

Ive been in Sthlm the last couple of days and its been quite a confusing time. love problems gaah. Ive never been good at talking and especially not to express my feelings (or at least not in a way that people would understand) so the only way to handle my fucked up emotional life is to write songs about whats going on.

This I wrote last night and Im gonna tell you it felt gooooood when I was finished.
You probably wont understand anything, but dont worry.. its just my crappy thoughts taking a little spin on a piece of paper (naaa, Im lying.. I dont even use a piece of paper, I always write my lyrics on 'Notepad' by the pc haha.. Im such a nerd!)

[It troubles me]

aint it funny how you sometimes
get so blinded by the need of comfort
and you drop those little precious words
almost like you mean it
but what you really need.. I dont know,

it troubles me..

..now my heart´s into pieces
and its all because of you (no, not really)
I know we said 'we´ve made the right decision'
But it still hurts oh, oh (yes it does)

aint it pathetic how I sit and judge you
when its me thats scared to the bone
Im sorry, I dont know how to love you
Im having hard times even loving myself
so lets just be friends, yeah thats what we said.

it troubles me..

..now my heart´s into pieces
and its all because of you (no, not really)
I know we said 'we´ve made the right desicion'
But it still hurts oh, oh (yes it does)

I know we seek
what we cant find in each other
we´ll always do.
you´ll never get rid of me
I´ll be hanging on to you
just like you struggle to
never let go of me.

I havent really finished the instrumental part yet, but Im working on it. Ive got a great idea in my head, its just that Im having a hard time to focus enough on putting it into a real piece of music. But I´ll probably be finished tonight. Ive come to realize that the hardest thing when it comes to making music is to come up with a good reliable and strong melody. Fuck the lyrics, there´s a lot of bands out there with crap lyrics you dont get a shit of really, but we cant stop loving them anyway (Bob Hund is a great example.. they´ve got the most fucked up lyrics you would ever imagine. And even Mando Diao..sometimes its hard finding any sense in their lyrics). Fuck all the chords.. look at Sex Pistols, they didnt even know how to fucking play. I bet their average amount of chords were like.. hm three maybe??!

What Im trying to say is that its the melody that catches you, what sticks in your head and sometimes you even wish you´d had a hammer to smash your head with to get rid of the bloody melody. Haha..gosh Im tired. Well well, so thats whats hard and thats what fucking troubles me. How can you be sure you´re not just copying some other song? How many melodies can you possibly come up with? When does it end?

(should I stop writing now?)

I will never ever understand music. Thats partly why I make music, to solve the mystery, to find its full content and meaning. I actually hope I´ll never solve anything cause then I wont be able to do any more songs. When you know how to write a perfect song, whats the meaning of doing it? Its funnier to feel that you´re only inches away, cause thats the feeling you get when you´re finished with a song, or at least thats what I feel.. nothing´s better than what you´ve just accomplished (until the next day when the euoforia is gone, your fingers hurt and your throat sounds like Tom Waits..).

Now Im gonna work with the song and when Im finished it´ll be only inches away from perfection.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:22:04 GMT

Didnt I tell you Im gonna write here more often? ^^

I met Åsa by accident in town today and its always fun to suprise her with saying hello when she least excepts me to be around.. she always gets so happy. I even met Linda and nowadays her dreads are gone and she´s got lovely brown curls instead. I got her new cellnumber but I lost it.. again. Silly me.

Well, anyway. Me and Åsa went to sit on a long bench by the sea (its actually europe´s longest bench, hehe) and there we met Lina and we had some ice-cream in the sunny weather. But so did my father call and he wanted me to go look on guitars with him in some music stores and so I had to say goodbye to my friends. So I went looking for a new guitar but I didnt find any nice ones cause Ive already set my mind on one special guitar.. a Washburn HB30 (anja and asja if you dont know what I mean I only have to tell you four words and I think you will get the picture; a copy of Laura). I want that one.

The rest of the day I spent with my old pal Erika on her job Espresso Bar but she didnt really work because there were not many customers. So we just hanged around, drank coffee, ate chicken and talked about this guy she´s dating. He´s an 25 year old psycologist and I think he´s ugly. She doesnt. "well, he does listen to me! " wtf! What else would he do?! He´s an fucking psychologist for crying out loud!" "yeahyeah". Erika says he´s better in bed than that canadian guy Adam. I dont think so.

- - -

I miss the touring life. I wanna go on tour again. I wanna have october right now.
I dont give a damn about the swedish summer. It just rains away anyway, as usual.
I want sleepless days and nights, screaming red gibsons, sweat, shivering skin
and eyes full of fever and pain because the music is the only thing we can rely on.

”..But please don’t put your life in the hands
Of a Rock n Roll band
Who’ll throw it all away”

I believe a man called Noel Gallagher once sang those words but he´s not right.
I would rather want a rock n roll band to throw away my life than me myself.
At least they´ll throw it far and rough.

Goodnight!

More will come..

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:06:43 GMT

I ought to use this livejournal a lot more than I do.
Just to keep my sweet bandaidsis updated of whats going on in my life.
Haha, what a joke. Nothing´s going on really. ^^

So whats there to write about?

On thursday last week our class had a release party and it came a lot of people but none of us were in the mood at all but we played and we sang and we sold some copies. I guess that´s what you ought to do as an musician, you cant just DONT do it because you´re having a bad day. You have to climb that stage and do your greatest and you cannot leave until your crowd´s pleased. Öhm. I dont know what Im talking about.

Anja and Asja I miss you soo much it hurts inside, it really does. Its not healthy for me being away from you and all of those things that we´ve done together. Its no good at all. I need to experience it all again. Is it a healthy or reasonable or logical or sane situation sitting in my parents house with angry cats around me (lady goodman, sid vicious, murre and misty) looking out through the window on the swedish national day and the rain is pouring down and all I can think about is THE FUCKING OCTOBER TOUR?!?!?!

Is that fucking sane?!

Well I dont really care if its not, hm, I know its not but I still do. Thats the only thing Im talking to my mum about, haha.. "ooh, anja & asja thought about buying some car or something" "ooh, that sounds fun!" "yeah, NO MORE FUCKING COLD TRAIN STATIONS"

After the cold train stations experiences that Ive had from the february tour I guess I could do some kind of ranking of my worst nightmares (or at least the closest feelings of a nightmare):

1. Football
2. Hard rock
3. Cold train stations

..after that its the typical ones as spiders and other small creeps and maybe a naked björn singing Maya min Piraya or something like that ^^

aah, would like to write more crap things but Toffe wants to phone me so I better stop now.
I´ll write more later!

naah, forget it

Sat, 07 May 2005 17:02:00 GMT

Hmpf.
Im feeling sad. And its not good. I actually hate it but I cant really control it.
Im quite used of this feeling, the oh so sad-feeling. Can you believe it?
Its early saturday evening and I feel sad.. sad for myself, sad for just everything and nothing at all.

I surpose I´d know how to fix this feeling but I dont. That is also something thats been the same all over my past years. I can run around in this complete happiness for several months and then suddenly everything cracks and Im lying on my floor, listening to kent (which is definetely NOT a good thing, its dredful).. crying. And Im not even sure exactly what Im crying over, I just feel that I have to.. or I dont know.

Éverybody gets sad sometimes, its just that we handle it differently from person to person. Thats why I go to a psychologist, because Ive had this "being low-problems" for several years and they havent really done me any good, actually more of the opposite. Im a quite sensitive person, a bit too much I would say. You might not see that, because it doesnt show the days when everything is fine. But now its a rather great appereance, for some stupid reasons I dont really know of.

I guess I feel sad for a mixture of things (right now).
- all the stress in school. The problems of even getting to school. The fact that I wont graduate even this year. The thought of the disapointment in my parents voices..
- my economy problems. I dont have a job and my parents have to pay for everything and I hate it so much, because I know they really cant afford it. They use their savings to pay my bills and all my trips and this and that. Its shitty awful! And I cant get a job cause.. oh well, that leads me into my next problem.
- Im gonna move to Stockholm and its more work than ever finding somewhere to live. Its almost impossible getting a hand over a deasant apartment (even if its a really, reeeeaaally small one) for a person like me. Which means a young girl with no work, and no great grades. The school ends on the third of June and I need to get an apartment as soon as possible. Its not looking good.
- I miss surtain friends (anja and asja are two of them).. I miss my friends in my hometown and it feels like we´re loosing each other because of the distance between us. And I find myself taking it all on me because it was my choice of moving away. I guess its not fair thinking like that, but in situations like these its hard to think straight.. think positive.. or even thinking at all. And then all these fights with Lisa.. we will never ever be friends again, that makes me sad, yeah oh so sad. Well I did see it coming, I knew we wouldnt hold on as friends cause we´ve been having too much trouble in our past, but I surely did not want to end our friendship in this way. Its ripping my heart out! I get so blue fighting. I hate it.
- I would like to do a lot of things that I cant. I would like to just travel to Germany and meet my beloving band aid sisters.. I would like to go to England on the Mando Diao tour.. I would like to go to at least ONE FUCKING KENT GIG, DAMN IT. I would like to go the Hultsfred festival. Right now Im not sure I will do anything. I would like to just write one fucking good song about all the things that troubles me, I mean the inspiration is all around me, I just cant find the motivation. I keep staring a my black guitar thinking what the hell I should do. Maybe its not meant for me to be a muscian, even though I know thats the only thing I want to be. Maybe Im not good enough...

Im feeling a bit trapped by the moment, and Im sorry you need to read such negative things right now.
I guess its better to just ignore this post because I do know myself.. suddenly everything is fine again.
Probably it´ll all be over as soon as I put away my kent cds ;)

But hey, one good thing. I suddenly found out how fucking easy it is to play Mr Moon. Haha.. I know its silly, I should´ve found that out much, much, muuuuch earlier.. I just havent really thought about, until last night. I love playing it now. Its also the same with If I leave you. Its soooo simple, and actually really beutiful to play on a acoustic guitar.

give me a winter drug
give me everything you have
come on, Im so low
I can only hear darkness
I could see a storm in your eyes
just like snow in summer..

oh fuck it

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 14:16:22 GMT

My Bonerocker Band Aid sisters!!
Where the fuck are you??!!
I miss you like crasy!!

It seems like we havent spoke for 20 months, I dont even remember when we spoke the last time. Do you??
I guess both of you have plenty of things to do in school, maybe thats why I havent seen you around for a while. Or maybe its me not being home. I dont know. But what I DO know is that I miss you!!

.. And we have so much to plan.. I spoke to Leo today and he´s gonna send Carlos a textmessage later on and try to talk to him in to giving us the guestlist-places that we´d surely need if we wanna go abroad.
Wanna go to England.. Wanna go to Oxford.. wanna go to London..

cause.. are we still going, or what?!

Oh fuck, Im hungry. And I panic all the time cause things in school just doesnt seem to work out the way I want to. Im not doing my homework any good, and on friday this huge report has to be handed in or otherwise I`ll screw everything up. The thing is.. I havent even started yet. And I dont know why...

Maybe because Im so silly fucking lazy? Or maybe because Im absolutely out of motivation, and Im tired, and a bit sad for some reason (loooove-problems I guess and just everything in this whole fucking world), and its just that everything seems to be a bit upside down. The worst thing is the feeling of disaprovement.. If I´ll fail this report-thing, what am I gonna tell my parents?! It´ll mean I´ll have to go another year at a school in Sthlm or something, as Im moving there.. hopefully.

My parents have helped me so much this year, with my economy, to make this time in eskilstuna real. So that I would start take care of my school time ( as I sure as hell didnt do it when I lived in my hometown).. they´ve helped me soooo, sooo much, its incredible. And what do I do then? I SCREW IT ALL UP! And the thing is, they have nooo idea how bad the situation is. And I dont know how to tell them either.. They´ll be so disapointed. :/ :/ :/

Its just shit!
And I have only myself to blame!
OH god damn it, this is so typical meeee!
Im sorry, but this is making me really crasy.

smashing time

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 11:49:36 GMT

We rehearsed from 8-11 today. Our selfconfidence seems to be the greatest right now. But how can it not be when all three of us feel the goosebumps in every song? We put a lot of effort on making a great ballad
right now, and it works out good. Its a very simple song, based on piano.. but isnt that lovely?

Suddenly I wanna go out and scream; "we´re the greatest, MANDO DIAO YOU CAN PUT A STICK UP YOUR ASSES
(HÖHÖ, BJÖRN WOULD SURELY LIKE THAT), we´re soon gonna be better than you!".

Its not cocky, its a bloody fact.

- - -

It seems like its gonna be a relaxing friday, no partying.
Im doing my laundry right now, love the smell of new washed clothes.
Im hungry as well, but Im to lazy to go out in the kitchen. ;)

- - -

The Bonerocker Band Aids are up for a new challenge, FINALLY I must say.
I almost paniced by the thought of not seeing Mando Diao until July.
I guess we´ve decided to go on the Oxford gig on the 27th of May.
I wanna go on the London gig the day after as well. We MUST do that somehow.
We just have to. Ive never been to London. WE JUST HAVE TO.

Oxford, London then home okey?? Pllllleeeeaaaaaasssseeee! ;) ;)

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 07:56:13 GMT

Hm, Im no good at updating hehe.
Well I guess Ive just felt like the most un-interesting person in the whole world, lately.
But now thats changed.

Kent is spinning in my head..."like a romeo in jeans on your balcony, I want you, you are mine, all mine.." I know it doesnt really make sense when you translate it word by word, but its the melody Im thinking of,hmm okey, that doesnt make sense either, cause you cant hear the melody by me writing some bit of the lyrics... Shit, Im weird. ;)

"And now we fade out fast to the blackout
And we are heading for our Isola
And then we fade out fast to the blackout
We fade as fast as we fall
We fall"

Naaaaw, my boys.. kent. They´re lovely.

- - -

Okey, so now its official, A Copy Of Laura will do their first gig next month, on the 20th of May. It feels so damn good, but slightly weird at the same time.. I mean, we havent been around for more than a month or so, and people already wanna see us play. I guess thats something good. Hahaha.

- - -

Im having a sort of date on saturday. The boy is a sort of Bob Dylan-freak and its quite amusing. Hehe.
The only thing I know is that we´ll start the day with breakfast at Café String in Sthlm. Then its off to anything..anything good. Oh, and I need to buy new jeans as well. Haha.. weird, a date that contains us buying jeans. Well, you have to try everything once, huh?

Btw, Anja and Asja, he looks just like Håkan Hellström so if I dont take him right away I guess Björn will *mohaha*

- - -

Last thing; the 8 lovely dates of the tour in Germany in October are now confirmed on www.mando-diao.com
Just one thing that troubles my mind, and its "Munster".. is that the same for München as well? Or have they changed location completely?

"The radio plays cover songs
new lyrics, sex and sing-alongs
Suddenly I lost my friends
They don´t call me and I don´t call them

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 19:59:48 GMT

OMG, Im so tired. I dont get it, I shouldnt be so tired. But when you mix vodka with music and excitment I guess you easily get tired. When I were sitting with Anja & Asja at the centralstation i Sthlm at 7 a.m waiting for our train back home to e-tuna, I almost felt as tired as I were on our Bonerocker Band Aid tour in Germany in february.

But so, how was the trip to Sthlm?
It was GOOD, no doubt about it. I really had a great time.. a weird but great time. Maybe a bit too much vodka perhaps, but what the fuck :P:P We met Leo at the Centralstation and some hours later we went to Café String and smoked a lot of cigarettes and drank too much coffee. There I also met a long time friend that I havent met since October 2003, and her name is Josefine. Oh god, it was so nice to finally meet her again, though we didnt have so much time to talk. We just promised each other that it wont take so much time between our next meeting.

And so me, asja, anja & leo went to Debaser and I´ll tell you the short story, cause Im way to tired right now. We drank our vodkamixes in the line, Hamid phoned me while I started to get drunk and I dont really remember everything we talked about. I saw Leo´s scar on his belly, and I yeah.. I got drunk. And so me and Leo tried to fool the guards that we were a couple so that he could come in, but it didnt help. So it all ended up bye Leo standing in the cold outside Debaser the entire night (I guess) while the other of us actually TRIED OUR BEST to get him in. Mando tried. Carlos tried. Nothing worked. Damn it.

And how was the gig?
It was GOOD, but I got a bit drunk I guess cause somehow I mixed all the songs in my head all the time and I thought the band was looking lame and acted lazy on stage, though I know that was only in my own mind. Haha. But I really loved the fact that they played How we walk, it was heartbreaking. And in one song, dont remember which one haha, Björn stared at me for like ages, it was really ennoying, cause when I looked away cause I didnt want him to look at me no more, it didnt help cause when I looked back he was still staring at me. Doesnt he have better things to do on stage?? Huh :P:P:P Like showing his butt a bit more ;);)

After the gig we ended up having a nice time at the Debaser, dancing to good music.. The chit chat with Mats was funny as well though he just seemed to talk about Eskilstuna all the time. Haha. So I told him to shut up. Omg, now I realise I was so drunk. hahaha.

Its odd not having Anja and Asja around, my thoughts are still all in english. They wont go away :)
I miss you soooo much already!! You are the cutest girls ever! *hugs&kisses*

"are they drunk..again?!
no it should be, are they drunk..still?"

johnny´s in my kitchen?!

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 20:19:49 GMT

okey... so this is my very first time on livejournal.com. I just thought it looked so cute when my two sweet german friends were using it to write about all the crasy things thats happening in their lives right now. So I had to be a member myself. Hehe. Its especially crasy for them right now, cause they´re at MY PLACE in Sweden. :):)

Anja and Asja is standing in my kitchen screaming; OMG JOOHNNNNYY! And I have no clue why. Is he there? Is Jonas in my kitchen? No, I dont think so. Or.. hm, maybe ;)

On the telly right beside me, Gustaf is screaming "you´re getting all crasy, Samuel, you´re getting all crasy, can you hear me?!?! You´re getting all crasy!!" He is fucking distracting me. Haha...

Im quit tired today because this week anja and asja has changed my day rythm completely. We get to sleep at 4-5a.m and wake up at 3p.m. Its been like this since sunday, when they arrived. But we are having lots of fun (maybe because my sweeties brought three vodka bottles with them, as well hehe). I dont think I´ve ever gained so much time just for the bastards in Mando Diao. This week is an week entirely based on everything that has to do about these guys. And I can fucking tell you, that is a whole lot of things.

Tomorrow´s gonna be a blast. Mando Diao are gonna play at the greatest rockclub in Sweden - Debaser. And we´ll be there, of course! Its gonna be a lot of beer, Mando.. öhm, beer, mando, beer, mando. And maybe a little bit of red wine if C-J will make us ;)

Oh, this is so full of crap. Im tired. Anja is in the toilet. Björn is looking nervous. Sid Vicious is sitting right beside me. Asja is sitting in the sofa. Gustaf cant stop talking about Borlänge. I miss Toffe... bla bla bla bla

btw, Im in love with Pete. Or at least, Im gonna be in few weeks or so.